Pause and take stock
Is something causing concern?
You do not need to know what is wrong to start. Reflect on your own experience, or on changes you have noticed in someone else.
Six reflection questions, not a clinical test. They cannot identify a cause or diagnose a condition.
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For me
Think about a habit, activity, or situation that worries you. Answer about its effect on your life; you do not need to give it a label.
Think about what has been happening recently.
Choose “I’m not sure” whenever you need to. There are no points or risk bands.
For someone else
Answer only about what you have noticed or what they have chosen to tell you. Changes can have many causes. “I’m not sure” is a useful answer.
What you can do next
You have named something that concerns you. These answers do not tell us the cause or how serious it is. Start with the effect that matters most to you.
You did not identify a concern in these questions. That is not an assessment of your wellbeing. You can still seek support for anything this check-in did not cover.
It is okay not to be sure. You can start by describing one recent moment that felt difficult, without deciding what it means.
You do not have to resolve every uncertainty before talking to someone.
Start with your safety
If asking for help could put you at risk, use a safe place or device to contact a trusted person or a local specialist support service. If you cannot keep yourself safe, seek urgent local help now.
If something still troubles you, here are ways to begin.
Put one concern into words
For example: “I’m losing sleep and finding it hard to switch off.” Describe what happens and how it affects you, without needing to explain everything.
Ask for a specific kind of help
Tell someone you trust whether you want them to listen, help with a practical task, or join you for a conversation with a professional.
If daily life is becoming difficult
Contact a local health professional or a support service that covers your concern. You can explain the effects you notice even if you do not know their cause.
Start with what you know
Your observations are a starting point, not proof of a cause. Separate what happened from what you think it means. You can seek support for yourself without establishing what someone else is doing.
You did not identify a concern in these questions. They cannot tell you whether someone else is okay. If something still worries you, start with that observation rather than guessing its cause.
You are unsure about each of these questions. You do not need to investigate them to justify caring. If it feels safe, ask how they are doing and give them room to answer.
It is fine not to know. Do not fill the gaps by checking private accounts or devices without permission.
With a partner
Explain the effect on you and any shared responsibilities. Agree what information or practical help each of you is comfortable sharing. You are not obliged to manage their money.
With your child
Make room for them to speak without turning the conversation into an interrogation. Respect an adult child’s autonomy. For someone under 18, seek age-appropriate advice from a qualified professional or trusted safeguarding contact.
With a parent or relative
Offer a specific kind of help you can sustain, such as company for a call or time to talk. You can care about them while setting limits on loans and the responsibility you take on.
With a friend or someone else
Ask whether they want to talk and listen to their answer. You can offer company or help finding information without becoming responsible for monitoring them or making them change.
Put your safety first
You do not have to confront someone or take control of their money. If you fear threats, coercion, or aggression, contact a trusted person or a local specialist support service from a safe place.
Choose a safe moment
If it feels safe, talk privately when you both have time. If you fear aggression or pressure, seek confidential support before attempting the conversation.
Use one specific example
Try: “We haven’t spent much time together lately, and I’ve missed you. How have things been?” Describe what you noticed without assigning a label.
Ask, then listen
Ask what has been happening and what help they would welcome. Leave room for an explanation you have not considered. Do not insist on an immediate disclosure.
Keep your own boundaries
Decide what help you can offer and what you cannot take on. Any arrangement around another adult’s money needs voluntary agreement. You can get support for yourself, too.
Choose who you are concerned about to continue.
About these questions and sources
These are original Unwager reflection prompts, not a validated screening tool or an adaptation of a clinical questionnaire. Answers select relevant guidance; they do not produce a score, diagnose a condition, or establish what another person does. The sources below inform conversation and support guidance, not the validity of these questions.
Sources checked October 11, 2026.